Vantage Men

Program 10 of 10

From Dating to a Relationship

Choose well, define it clearly, and keep attraction alive once you are together.

See tiers from $37What's inside

5 modules · 8 lessons · 8 exercises · 9 curated resources · 30-day guarantee

Is this you?

  • You can get dates but relationships fizzle after a few months
  • You are unsure when and how to have the 'what are we' conversation
  • Your last relationship went flat and you do not know why
  • You want a partnership that keeps desire and respect alive

What you will get

Getting dates is one skill; building a relationship that stays exciting is another. This program covers choosing the right partner, the conversation that makes it official, the research-backed habits that keep couples close (Gottman's bids, Perel's desire), handling conflict without contempt, and maintaining your own life so the relationship stays attractive to both of you.

Outcomes

  • A partner-selection framework based on long-term research, not infatuation
  • A calm, clear way to define the relationship
  • The daily habits that predict lasting closeness
  • A conflict approach that avoids the four behaviours that predict break-ups
  • A plan for keeping desire alive without games

Modules and lessons

  1. Choosing well — Attraction gets you to the door. Character, consistency and secure functioning decide whether it lasts.
    • The long-term checklist
    • Secure functioning
  2. Defining the relationship — Clarity is attractive. Ambiguity breeds anxiety on both sides.
    • When and how
  3. Keeping close: bids and rituals — Gottman's research: couples who stay together turn toward each other's small bids for attention most of the time.
    • Turning toward
    • Rituals
  4. Conflict without contempt — Gottman's four horsemen predict break-ups: criticism, contempt, defensiveness and stonewalling. Each has an antidote.
    • The four and their antidotes
  5. Keeping desire alive — Perel: love wants closeness; desire wants space. You need both.
    • Separateness and seeing her anew
    • Initiative and novelty

The learning library

9 hand-picked videos, books, articles, research and tools, with notes on what to take from each. The links are in the workbook.

bookThe Seven Principles for Making Marriage WorkJohn Gottman and Nan Silver (book)
articleThe Seven Principles, summarisedShortform
talkThe secret to desire in a long-term relationshipEsther Perel, TED
bookAttached: secure functioningLevine and Heller (book)
talkHow to fall in love, according to Hinge's relationship scientistNPR interview with Logan Ury
videoGottman's four horsemen explainedYouTube search
videoBids for connection explainedYouTube search
videoEsther Perel on keeping desire aliveYouTube search
researchWomen rate kindness the most attractive traitThe Healthy

Exercises and scripts

8 step-by-step exercises with time estimates. Full instructions are in the workbook; the tier shows where each one unlocks.

Long-term scorecard · 20 minStarter and up
Past relationship autopsy · 30 minStarter and up
Bids week · 5 minStarter and up
The DTR script · 10 minStarter and up
Rituals design · 20 minComplete and up
Gentle start-up practice · 15 minComplete and up
Own-life audit · 20 minComplete and up
Coach relationship review · 60 minUltra

4 scripts in total in the Complete and Ultra workbooks, plus all 33 across every program in the Scripts and Templates Pack.

The eight things you will measure

Score each 1–5 before you start, at day 15 and at the end. The workbook has the scoring sheet.

Selection1: Chemistry decides5: Character and consistency decide
Clarity1: Months of ambiguity5: Defined calmly at the right time
Turning toward bids1: Phone wins5: I respond to the small things
Rituals1: None5: Weekly, daily, monthly in place
Conflict: criticism and contempt1: 'You always', eye-rolls5: Gentle start-up, appreciation
Conflict: defensiveness and stonewalling1: Counter-attack or shut down5: Own my part, timed breaks
Own life1: Dissolved into the relationship5: Friends, craft, training kept
Desire and initiative1: Passive, routine5: I plan, surprise, flirt

Choose your tier

Instant download after payment. Secure checkout by Stripe. 30-day money-back guarantee.

Starter

Learn the fundamentals and get moving in 7 days

$37 one-time

  • Core workbook (PDF): lessons, key ideas, mistakes to avoid
  • Curated learning library with links to videos, books and research
  • 7-day action plan
  • Before / during / after self-assessment matrix
  • Starter exercises
Most popular

Complete

The full 30-day program with every exercise and script

$147$97 one-time

  • Everything in Starter
  • Full 30-day program, week by week
  • All exercises, including the advanced ones
  • Scripts, templates and message frameworks
  • Weekly review template and progress tracker
  • 30 days of email Q&A with your coach

Ultra

Complete plus personal coaching and a 90-day path

$497$297 one-time

  • Everything in Complete
  • 90-day mastery path with monthly milestones
  • One private 60-minute coaching call
  • Personal written review of your situation, profile or messages
  • Six fortnightly accountability check-ins by email
  • Lifetime updates to the workbook

Prices in USD. Taxes may apply at checkout. Digital content is delivered immediately; by purchasing you agree to the terms and refund policy.

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